Food Flight

The chickenshitness of Adolf Hitler is well-established. The very last act of his life—blowing his brains out—defined the essential chickenshitness of his existence: he was too much of a two-year-old to stomach the prospect of a world where he was not, as my brother would have put it, “King Shit.”

Still, I felt a new level of disgust for the pure chickenshitness of the fellow upon learning last night that he directed that 15 young women be required to first consume his food, in case somebody had dumped some nasty poisons into the stuff.

I don’t care who you are, if you believe that someone might be lacing your meals with toxins, you’re doing something pretty damn wrong. And you need to stop it. Probably you should retire to a monastery. And if They manage to poison you in there: well, then you gotta figure God wanted it.

But to sentence young women to the convulsions and death meant for you—what a complete and utter chickenshit.

Why not some of those fine strapping young wunderkind Aryan men? Should not oodles of these oddbodies been fervently willing to give of their palates to Mr. Moustache?

But no. It had to be young women.

What an utter fucking shmaltsik shmutsik shmo. A shandeh un a charpeh. A feier zol im trefen.